northwestmagpie: (I'm Not Sure)
[personal profile] northwestmagpie
It's quiet without Lucky, and lonely, but I'm healing from the shock of losing him. I suspect the pain will be lifelong - of course it will; you never lose someone you love without pain - but the grief is fading as I recall him, and realize that 99% of my memories of him were joyful, happy, or funny ones. Like the time he startled me and I accidentally dumped a glass of tea all over him. Or when he stared down a Jack Russell terrier in Phoenix, and sent the mutt whimpering away with its tail between its legs.

Just so many memories of a beautiful, loving, happy cat who enticed people wherever he went. And I am so glad that I let him go without pain or fear. I am so glad he went in my arms, knowing how much I loved him. Mom died surrounded by her children, two of whom I know loved her unreservedly, so there are two family members I've sent off from this world without a regret.

In the meantime, I've been listening to music to calm my mind. And my mind has responded by jumping up and embracing a couple of ideas for stories. I've been emailed by [profile] wiebke to contribute a story I'd written for Storm Constantine's last anthology to her new upcoming one; I'll see if I can configure that in time for publication. The other story takes place in my Talarian world, and may be a short story or novella - a young boy raised in a matriarchal society loses his mother, and sets out to avenge her death and take back what was stolen from her. How he's going to do it is pretty simple; the implications are the knot I have to untangle.

I am also preparing for surgery on July 25. That's the earliest they can get me in to get rid of this damned node and the parathyroid glands. Oh, joy, hooray . . . the fun of recuperation and the possibility of losing my voice for two weeks. Or a month.

I'm going to stop before I start feeling sorry for myself again.
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August 2017


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